i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Porn is love you can see.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
