I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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