Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Buhtt sex?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
