I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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