i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
