i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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