The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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