I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
