I am puke
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
