just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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