he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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