I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
