official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
