Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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