I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
