Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They have beer where we have blood.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
