wat bout pragnant strippers??
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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