you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
