You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
