glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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