she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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