I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize