i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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