You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
