Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
