Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
