I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
