So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
