so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
