One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
