So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
