So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
