I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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