In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
