There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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