My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
