That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He? As in you personified your dick?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
