i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
