my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
