He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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