loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
