I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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