I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize