Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
