I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
