you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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