Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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