Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
