i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
