he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Someone came in the potted fern
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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